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  Second baby – Feeling overwhelmed
 
I found out that I am pregnant with my second child. The gap between the two will be 2 and a half years. Everybody tells me that it’s a good gap to have between babies, but I just don’t see how that is humanly possible. This toddler keeps me completely occupied every second of the day. I hardly have time to go to the toilet, or do any activity that is vaguely human, like brush my hair! So please can you tell HOW am I going to have time to care for a baby as well? I also worry about whether I could love my second baby as much as I love my first –it feels like the first born has filled my heart and there is no room left for any other babies. Will the second baby feel left out?

Caring for a baby and a busy toddler is no easy task. However, if you try to socialise with other mothers who has two or more children, you will see that, while it is not easy, it is possible. You can set up a couple of strategies that will help you survive. One good idea is to find a little play group for your toddler to go to for a couple of hours a day, or even a few times a week. Set this up as a routine and also a treat well before the baby is born, so that the toddler does not feel pushed away. An additional bonus is if you can get someone else to lift toddler to the play group, so that you can rest and have a few quiet hours with your baby. These types of simple arrangements are life savers once the baby arrives. Discuss these ideas with the friends who have two children, and find out what they do. There may be other facilities in your area, such as mother’s groups and play groups which could be helpful to know about.
The way you feel is perfectly normal and extremely common. Ask any woman with two children, she will probably remember having feelings like this during the second pregnancy. Firstly, believe it or not, your heart will expand and fill with love when you have your second baby. There will be enough love to go around, and you will feel that two children is a lovely family. So although it’s hard not to worry, this aspect will fall into place.
You will also have to be quite organised. The time that used to be yours when toddler was asleep, will now be even more precious. You may consider co-ordinating the routines of the two children in quite a regimented way, in order to have some order in your life, and a small amount of time for doing chores when both children are asleep. Even if your natural style is wary of routines for babies, you may find that a routine is a life saver in these early years. Listen to a lot of advice, and take from it what works for you. You will manage. Promise!

See also:

Second baby - Aiding the second pregnancy

Second baby - Carrying a toddler

Second baby - Difference in second pregnancy

Second baby - Second delivery

Second baby - Similar pregnancy

Second baby - Small gap between babies

 
   
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