|My baby has very bad colic, and I am hardly getting any
sleep. Yesterday I got so exhausted and over the edge that
I gave the baby a good shake. Of course he just cried harder
after that, and I left him in his cot while I calmed down.
Now I am feeling so ashamed and worried. What if I have
A baby with colic, and sleep deprivation are a very difficult
combination to deal with. It is not surprising that you
reached the end of your tether. Since you cannot undo what
happened, the important thing is to move forward from here,
and to make sure that you are never in that situation again.
It may be a good idea to take the baby to the doctor for
a check up just to reassure yourself that he is fine. While
babies are surprisingly strong and robust in many ways,
shaking a baby CAN cause injury. The baby has a very large
head in proportion to the rest of the body, and a weak neck.
So when the baby is shaken, the brain can move around inside
the skull and get bruised and injured. So the moral of the
story is: NEVER shake your baby. Once your baby has been
checked and all is well, you can take some other steps.
You did well to leave the baby to cry and walk away until
you felt calmer. That was a wise move on your part, and
exactly what you should have done. Now that you know that
you are close to your snapping point, you need to make some
changes that will enable you to cope better.
Are you taking a nap when baby does? This is not the time
to be heroic, and no matter how tempting it is to think
about how much you could achieve while baby is asleep, you
need to get enough sleep in order to cope. You may also
need to explore some ideas to help baby sleep better at
night. Consider finding the money for a night nurse a couple
of times a week. Get yourself some help and support. Start
accepting offers of help, and learn to ask for help.
In addition it may be worth asking for help with regard
to soothing your baby. Probably you have tried every idea
you can think of to stop your baby from crying, but perhaps
your doctor or local clinic will have some ideas for you.
Look at the section on colic on this website. And then remind
yourself that you ARE a good parent, and that colic does
not last forever (although it may feel like it!) Just take
it one step at a time and be kind to yourself.