|I really can’t figure out how to accept that the nanny
is going to spend more time with my baby than I am. What if
my baby prefers her nanny to me? What if the nanny does not
understand the baby the way I do? How will I know that everything
is ok when I am not around much?
The first thing that you have to be sure about is that
you are the most important person in the life of your baby.
There may be times when your small baby is hurt, and calls
for the nanny rather than you – and that will be a
difficult moment for you to accept. But when all is said
and done, no-one can replace you in heart of your baby.
The bonds that working mothers form with their babies can
be just as strong as those of stay at home moms. Your baby
needs to know that you love her and that is all that matters.
So remind yourself that you want the baby to have a close
and loving bond with the carer. And the fact that the baby
can be comforted by the carer, and might call for the carer
when sad, is the very thing that will reassure you that
you chose the right person to be with your baby. You have
to be very careful to ensure that you do not create a sense
of competition with the carer. It is really important that
the best outcome for the baby is the one that you keep in
Choosing the nanny carefully is the best insurance that
you have. Your instincts, and your baby’s reaction
to her, will tell you most of the story. Check the references
carefully, as previous employers will be able to tell you
a great deal about this person. Have a list of questions
ready when you interview prospective nannies. Think about
the things you need to know that will reassure you about
who this person is.
And then you need to think clearly through what it is that
you want the nanny to do. If you don’t lay out a clear
routine, then you cannot be disappointed if it isn’t
followed. Your views on food, sleep, play, routine should
all be made clear to the carer. Don’t assume anything.
Make lists to make sure that you don’t forget anything.
Have emergency numbers in prominent places, and discuss
emergency procedures. If the person you employ does not
have first aid training, then it would be wise to employ
her early enough that she can do a first aid course and
be well qualified to cope with any situation that could
arise. These are the types of preparations that are going
to really help you have confidence that your baby is well
And then once you are at work, ask yourself if your baby
seems contented and bonded to the carer. These are signs
that you will be able to read. Ask a friend or your mother
to pop in periodically to check if things are being run
as you would like. Trust your instincts and try and relax
and trust that you have done all you can to ensure that
things run smoothly.
Work - Baby
Work - Childcare
Work - Choosing a carer
Work - Deciding whether to go back
Work - Financial implications
Work - Guilt at wanting to work
Work - Important considerations
Work - Making the first day easier
Work - Missing baby’s milestones
Work - Returning to work part-time
Work - Spouse doing his share
Work - Stay at home regrets
Work - The downside of working from home
Work - When to return to work
Work - Work from home
Work - Working with baby present