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  Work –Guilt at wanting to work
I really love being a working woman, but my mother is trying to tell me that I am being selfish and that being at home with the baby is a woman’s duty. Is she from the dark ages or is this the truth? Am I sacrificing the well being of my baby for my own selfish needs?

Accept that everyone is entitled to an opinion, and there is no reason for you to agree with it. For many women, being at home with the baby is the best place to be. But if you do not feel that way, and find that you are frustrated and irritable staying at home, what benefit will your baby derive from that?

There are women who really thrive at work and shrivel at home. It is not a judgement call. It is a fact. So, if you are one such person, accept that is who you are. Sit your mother down and discuss this with her. Be patient and tolerant. Tell her that you accept her view that stay at home is best. Explain to her that in your case you really do believe that your baby will have a better mother if you are working. That you really have a strong view that you will be more patient and caring if you are able to have the stimulation of work. Maybe if you describe the situation carefully for her she will see your point of view.

But if she does not, you will have to accept that you differ in your ideas on this issue. The decision is yours, and you know that your motivation is not selfish. Make sure that you plan your return to work carefully, choose a carer for your baby that will love and cherish the baby, and generally ensure that your baby is the winner. When you are home with the baby you need to make sure you are really there. Be present and available and make sure that the baby feels loved. There is no easy or right choice here. There is only a carefully thought out solution that works for your family.

See also:

Work - Baby showing discontent

Work - Baby’s relationship with carer

Work - Childcare decisions

Work - Choosing a carer

Work - Deciding whether to go back

Work - Financial implications

Work - Important considerations

Work - Making the first day easier

Work - Missing baby’s milestones

Work - Returning to work part-time

Work - Spouse doing his share

Work - Stay at home regrets

Work - The downside of working from home

Work - When to return to work

Work - Work from home

Work - Working with baby present

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