Stay at home mom

Sometimes I think that the only people who get to spend quality time with their kids are working people. When my husband gets home from work, he spends time romping with the baby and they have a wonderful time. I am just so overwhelmed with chores that I never really play with my baby. Being together all the time does not mean that I spend any quality time with my baby. How do I change that?

It’s possible that you are being too hard on yourself, and that you are doing a lot more entertaining than you realise. The best thing you can do is to include your baby in your everyday activities. They may be chores to you, but this is all new and exciting to a baby. So make the effort to chat to baby as you work. Explain what you are doing as you load the washing machine or sweep the floor. Watch how your baby watches you and is involved in your activities. Also make sure that when you change baby, or bath him, or any of those necessities, you make it fun. Have a special toy for nappy changing, and participate in the game by squeaking along or commenting on the toy.

Sometimes the problem is that mothers are operating in a fog of exhaustion, which means that they are just mechanically getting through the chores, and don’t have the energy to make it fun for the baby. If this is the case, then you really need to find more support. Go back to taking a nap with the baby in the afternoon. Ask for help in some way – get your mom to have the baby for a couple of hours so that you can really get through the chores without any distraction, but then make sure that you do spend some fun time with baby on his return.

Ask yourself – Is my baby content or is he desperate for my attention? If he is content then most likely you are providing more quality time than you realise. Be more aware of his mood and you will be amazed at how much communicating and fun you are having in the midst of the chores. And don’t forget to pat yourself on the back!