Exhausted mother

Although my baby and I have done well with breast feeding, he is now 10 months old and I really am feeling the strain. My clinic nurse is really encouraging me to carry on feeding for another few months, but I am not sure that I want to. Part of me feels disappointed in myself, almost as though I am not a good mother. But the truth is that between work, and broken nights and still trying to be some kind of wife, I am not coping well. I think that if I could stop feeding then I would be less exhausted and also my husband and I could share the night feeds which would really help me. Am I just being a defeatist?

As you say yourself, the fact that you have fed for 10 months is a great success. It is possible that the clinic nurse is wanting the best for your baby. But the truth is that a mother that is struggling to cope is not the best thing for the baby. So follow your heart as you have done up to now. If you really feel sad about giving up feeding, you could consider just keeping one feed for a while longer. Many women find that the early morning feed is a good one to keep for a bit longer. This feed can be easier than the others because you will have had some rest and built up some milk. Having a family snuggle first thing in the morning can be a wonderful way to start the day.

As you start to introduce more feeds which are not breast, you may find that there comes a point at which you start to feel much better. In other words, cutting down on feeding may achieve the goal that you require of being less exhausted. Some babies do sleep better when they are formula fed at night. In addition you should check that you are feeding yourself well enough. Breastfeeding is a draining business and it is possible to underestimate how much good quality food you require. Good supplementation can also help.